Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We will hurry and hope that you make it until we get back.
Also, what's the best course of action when we are face-to-face with the Lich?
Don't be face-to-face with the Lich.
Well, that's unhelpful.
But, like, I feel like we're going to end up there.
Yeah, if we don't end up face-to-face with the Lich, we've died somewhere between level, like, bottom and mid-level.
That is the concern.
Don't worry.
I can bring you back.
And I can heal you before you go and have to be brought back.
Okay.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
And I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Tom Laird.
Hey, that's me.
I am playing FlintFirebeard.
And Carla Maxted.
That is me.
I am playing Yenbul Nury.
And Amy More.
That's me.
I'm playing Thea Amastasia.
Uh-oh.
Russ is self-destructing.
He's a shorting out?
What happened?
How's everybody doing tonight?
I forgot to update him, you guys.
I'm so sorry.
Just plug him in for a second.
Restart him.
We checked all the computers, but then forgot to check the main computer.
Download some new drivers, get them right back up and running.
That's right.
It'll be fine.
We got it.
How is everybody?
That was the question I was going to ask.
So good.
Doing well.
Good, good, good, good.
You know, peek behind the curtain.
It's been a while since we've played these characters.
How's everybody feeling about that?
I totally remember who Thea is.
Yeah, 100%.
She's me.
I mean, Flint and Thea, we've been playing them for 18 years.
Yeah, I think they should be fine.
It's been a while.
How about Yimble?
I mean, we'll see.
It's going to be real action packed, probably.
We are trying to storm a lich's floating fortress.
That's fine.
Super stoked.
It's such a bad idea, you guys.
We're just going to go head on.
It's such a bad idea.
You know what I have written here?
Wow, this is a bad idea.
So much action.
Look at all this writing here.
Oh my god.
So that'll be fun.
But I just need to apologize to you guys because I am a spellcaster
and I am not experienced at that.
And now there'll be a lot of like, hold on.
I know I have a thing that does a thing.
I still do that, Carla.
Yeah, it's perfect.
And it's been 18 years.
That's good.
Where you can help us learn to play better is over on Patreon.
Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
You can send us all the suggestions you want.
And we'll take practically none of them.
We listen and then promptly forget, typically.
But people do try to help.
I'm always like, oh, that's a really good idea.
That's a really good insight.
And then it's gone from my brain forever.
Exactly.
Yeah, why is that?
But you do have direct access to us over on Patreon
because you can message us over there.
You can join our Discord, which
has exclusive Patreon channels where you can ask us
all the questions and give us all the answers that we
because we will probably ask you questions.
How does this thing work again?
But also, when you're a patron,
you get an episode dedicated to you.
Like today's patron, her fierceness.
I bow to you, her fierceness.
Nice.
Oh, that's so intimidating.
Thank you, her fierceness.
Find out more at Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast.
And now, fuck it, let's play D&D.
The four of you, Yen Bull, Flint, Thea, and Mannix,
had decided not to immediately storm the pyramid,
but instead perhaps do some strategizing
and figure out what was the best way to do that.
You had asked Mannix kind of what you can expect
when going up against a lich,
as they said that they might have some insight.
Now, the four of you have been seated around a campfire
and Mannix has been spending their time trying
to prepare you as best they can.
Well, taking their time mixing up different potions
and elixirs.
Mannix, throughout this, not really addressing anyone
in particular, enters a sort of monologue here.
They say, what are we about to walk into?
A lich's lair.
What do we hope to find?
Well, his phylactery.
To answer your question, what can we know about a lich?
A lich is an alpha undead.
It's what happens when a wizard decides
immortality is the only route.
Reads the fine prints on the contract and says,
yeah, I'm good with that.
A lich is a creature that resists
and is immune to more things
than you can ever begin to think to dole out.
They'll resist cold, lightning, and necrotic.
They can't be charmed or frightened,
paralyzed or poisoned.
And if you destroy their lich form,
it is merely an inconvenience for them
to rebuild themselves.
No, if you want to kill a lich,
you have to destroy their corpse.
Hidden and protected deep within their phylactery.
Or in this case, my guess is in the peak of this pyramid
as Mannix nonchAlydintly points up
and towards the pyramid.
Traps, labyrinths, puzzles, poisons,
monsters, and torture of your mind and body
are what we can expect.
You shouldn't trust anything you see.
And heaven forbid, if you get separated,
you should barely trust yourself.
Shangalar will be prepared and ready
for someone to strike at his heart,
especially as he rolls out war across Kalimshan.
We must be ever vigilant and ready
for anything he can throw at us.
We must be prepared for a long, hard battle.
We must be prepared to survive.
If he senses weakness, doubt, or despair,
that will be our undoing.
We will be stronger together and hopefully
succeed in stopping Shangalar.
And he looks to Flint.
And hopefully save your souls.
We cut to a clearing and we see a group of huts
in the middle of the forest.
We move towards a large communal hut
at the center of this settlement.
And inside we see what looks like this entire village
gathered at a town hall.
In the center, surrounded by all of the people
from this community, are Massoud and Zana.
They stand before two of the town elders of the Genisar.
We met them in the forest.
Well, actually, we were followed by them in the forest.
Their skills for tracking were quite impressive.
Yenbul says she trained with us and asks for our help.
They're going to take on the Lich.
Shangalar.
And you think this is our fight?
Isn't it everyone's?
Shangalar, as they say, is rolling out forces
across Kalimshan.
They've already struck Kalimport,
who's to say that they won't move everywhere else.
Well, we've always been able to protect ourselves here.
Is that all that matters?
It's the most important thing.
We've always helped those who have fought for freedom
and come to seek our aid.
That doesn't mean we need to go looking for a fight.
Four people going into his lair.
They will surely die.
Or will they be a small enough group
to get through undetected?
You don't think they're going to be greeted
at the front door?
The Lich sees all.
Perhaps the Lich will underestimate them.
Well, they are the Decimators of Dragons.
Their name precedes them.
Do they fly a banner that proclaims them as such?
No, but they are a recognizable group.
And so what would you have us do?
Send forces, send soldiers and people to help them.
If we sit here, we're just waiting
for them to bring the fight to us.
No one will be safe.
We're ignorant if we think we can just sit here and hide.
Yes, well, perhaps we should put it to a vote.
This is not, we do not rule you.
We are all part of the same community.
We work together and fight together.
So perhaps we should vote.
OK.
A vote occurs.
Votes within the Genesar community are of the people.
Everybody is equal.
We'll say that just for even numbers sake
that there's 100 people in this tent.
And if someone would roll me percentile dice, please.
It's not going to be me.
I want to win this thing.
Somebody else roll.
It's a lot of pressure.
Masood and Zana stand at the center of their community.
The elders call a vote.
Hands begin to raise around in favor
of helping the decimators of dragons.
Masood and Zana spin to try and see.
And we zoom in on their faces.
And they let out a long sigh.
And we cut back to Flint, Thea, Yen Bull, and Mannix.
So do you have any questions?
Yes.
You said we could not destroy his form,
but that we must destroy his corpse.
So you mean his body, his original body is somewhere.
And that is what we must find.
Yes.
Oh, it's like a fucked up scavenger hunt.
OK, so that's probably going to be the most heavily guarded.
Do we try to get there first and have that be our goal?
I mean, there's only four of us going up against a lich.
I don't know.
Untold, undead?
And a lich who seems to be so powerful.
I don't know how we fight such a creature.
Well, not with lightning bolts or blight, apparently.
Or cold swords.
Or poison.
Or being frightening.
I can't even turn into a winter wolf and blast him.
That's like my go-to, you guys.
Your skills are largely magic-based, Yen Bull and Thea,
yes?
Yes.
Revealing that will place a target on you first.
Well, I'm not too bad with a bow.
I'm OK with a bow.
I have a bow.
You seem very confident in your abilities.
I have a bow.
And what a bow.
I also have some weapons, but they are not my strong suit.
Word, sister.
I have been training all my life to fight with magic.
We don't know what we'll go up against the second
we appear in his pyramid.
We can hope that there's not a greeting party.
My guess is he has contingencies
for all occurrences, though.
Well, when you are traveling
in a giant pyramid in the air,
I can only imagine that he's got protections in place.
Do you think?
I suppose all of his tasks are done by Undead.
We cannot try to sneak in and really
pretend to be normal workers.
This is not an option.
All his menial labor done by Undead, I assume.
Anyone here really good at disguises?
How does the pyramid fly?
Does he do that with magic?
Hey, pyramid, you magic?
You magic?
Can I ask the pyramid?
The exact source is unknown,
but it could be presumed that it is magic of his own creation.
Well, that's probably something we want to keep in mind.
You kill the source of the magic.
Pyramid goes boom.
Goes boom or hurtles down to Earth,
creating a crater the size of Calumport.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Now, with a normal wizard,
they eventually tire from using so much of their magics.
Is that not the case with the Lich or is it the same sort of thing
where he only has a certain amount to draw on
before he needs to take like a power nap?
Does he have a nap time?
Can we get his nap schedule?
It is true that his magic can wane.
But can it Garth?
Party on, Wayne.
I had to.
Did you?
I did.
I mean, I feel like our podcast has a pretty thorough Mike Myers contingent to it.
How could I not?
That's fair.
The people, it's what the people want.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that they don't.
Well, it's what the people, you know what?
It's not the comedy people want.
It's the comedy they need.
It's fair.
Yeah, fair.
All right, Batman.
Yep.
It's true his magic can wane.
We would have to be precise in our approach.
The one thing we have at our side is that he believes he cannot be killed.
Have we gone over the idea of coming in as admirers?
You know, hey, you're the big new power.
We'd love to work for you.
Oh, hold on.
Not as undead though.
Hey, I've never like battled a lich before.
We like shoot some things back and forth.
Lower his power level a little bit, right?
Then he needs to go take a nap.
That's when, you know, that's when we strike.
So you want to duel him as a lesser than in his organization?
Absolutely.
But just for funsies.
Not really looking to hurt each other, right?
Just like stretching the old muscles.
You know, you know what?
I bet he's asking himself, when's the last time anyone's ever,
like, come to spar with me?
I mean, he's sparring with the entire city of Calumport right now.
Well, it's not really a sparring match.
We know you're going to win.
I think you might have answered your own question about
whether or not he would want to spar with us.
Okay, fine.
I'm just, I'm just, you know, throwing him out there.
You never know.
We need to have ideas because it's so, it's so overwhelming.
Fucking crazy.
How do we, we must do it.
But how do we do it?
It seems impossible.
There is only four of us.
Also, guys, I think I'm straight up the weak link in here.
I just want everyone to know that.
As Manix had his little moment.
You fought Tiamat.
You are a decimator of dragon.
I am just an explorer.
I am a very different person from when I fought Tiamat.
And frankly, if I may say so, which I can,
because it's about myself.
I'm a wee bit unstable.
There are times when I like black out
into some crazy hallucination
and then like, I don't even know.
I'm a little bit worried.
I'm not going to lie.
So, you know, someone has to do some
secret sneaky stuff.
I don't know if I'm a good person
to put in for sneaky stuff.
Maybe just being completely honest
because I don't want to get anyone else killed.
So what do we do?
Do we go back?
Do we go back to Kalimport and fight?
But then it seems like an unending enemy.
Just undead after undead.
There's no shortage of undead.
More being made every day.
One guy up there.
I mean, is the time to go now
while he's preoccupied with Kalimport?
Perhaps that makes sense.
He is using much of his power to fight.
Destroying my beloved city.
Perhaps he is due for a nap
from all the city destroying.
I mean, we're really banking on this whole nap situation.
We really are.
It's very important.
It's the key to our plan.
I mean, do we have anything else?
No, we have naps.
That's what we have.
It seems like a very Decimator of Dragons solution, though.
It really does.
Oh, he's just going to be down for a little quick cat nap.
You know, we'll sip in, axe the head.
It'll be fine.
Is it a Decimator of Dragons thing
or is it just our podcast thing?
Because I feel like we've had some, like,
long games thrown in there.
We come in.
We want to become part of this undead horde.
You know, we're going to move in down the street.
We're going to see how long this takes.
We'll play some board games or have games night.
It'll be great.
We'll develop a fondness.
Look, you guys yell at Opal for this all the fucking time.
Yeah, it's a different dynamic we've got here.
This is a safe space.
Yeah, fair enough.
It's Flint, Thea, and now our good friend Yen Bull.
Exactly.
It's a safe space.
Your thought that he may be otherwise occupied
may play to our advantage.
Well, I don't want to lose that advantage.
I mean, he's soon going to overtake the city
and be moving on to the next.
There'll be a lull.
If he's still in the middle of it all,
I say let's strike while the iron is hot.
Yes, if there is a way I can save even one small part
of my beloved Kalimport, I would like to try.
What's in those potions you've been mixing?
Is it anything that's going to help us?
No, as he was mixing them, they're all like-
It's Dr. Pepper.
It's lightning.
I mean, that gives it a nice shot of energy for us.
These are-
Some crystal mountain dew.
Ooh.
Let's all decide together on what Manix has been mixing.
Things that are helpful, obviously potions of healing.
Yeah, that'd be good.
What else do we think would be beneficial in this time
if we were to search for potions?
Probably something that could hold a lich.
I think him not moving or being able to speak
or anything like that would be very helpful.
Can he make something like that
that could freeze him in time?
With a potion?
Yeah.
Interesting.
We'll trick this undead lich into drinking the potion.
How about something that could make us invisible
or undetectable or extra sneaky?
Something like that.
Something like a trace potion.
That's not how we use that.
Okay, let's just run down the list here
and see if anything jumps out.
Potion of mind reading.
Potion of animal friendship.
Potion of heroism.
Potion of poison.
Watchful rest.
Isn't that just poison?
Yeah, potion of poison.
Does it make you poisonous?
This concoction looks, smells, and tastes
like a potion of healing or other beneficial potion.
However, it is actually poison,
masked by illusion magic.
Tricky, that's mean.
Watchful rest.
Fire breath.
Vitality.
Giant size.
Longevity.
Comprehension.
I take a vitality and a giant size
just for my own reasons.
I was gonna say giant size, maybe.
I'm just kidding, Russ.
Just making a penis joke.
Become giant.
Would my spells have more damage?
That's my question.
Spells, no.
It's bullshit.
Melee, yes, because your shit grows with you.
I would still need.
What about like an enstrongening potion?
So we could be stronger?
Envigens the noble spirit.
Potion of invulnerability.
Something like that sounds pretty good.
For one minute after you drink this potion,
you have resistance to all damage.
The potion's syrupy liquid looks like a liquefied iron.
I think he's made one of each of those for us.
Is there anything like a potion of haste?
I don't think it is.
Sorry?
Is there a potion of haste or anything in that list?
Probably, we got invisibility.
Because haste is real helpful, y'all.
Yeah.
Can anybody cast haste?
Just out of curiosity.
I know potions are better because it's not a spell.
Potion of mind control.
I would have to get him to,
even then it wouldn't work because he can't.
Flying growth, resistance.
Potion of possibility.
Oh.
That's nice, very inspirational.
When you drink this clear potion,
you gain two fragments of possibility,
each of which looks like a tiny grayish bead of energy
that follows you around.
Original D20 roll has advantage or disadvantage,
and then the, oh, so it basically just grants you
a couple advantages.
Is a lich a humanoid or something different?
Undead.
Okay.
Yeah.
Potion of maximum power.
Mm-mm.
For the first time you cast a damage-dealing spell,
a fourth level or lower,
within one minute after drinking this potion,
instead of rolling dice to determine the damage,
you instead use the highest.
Mm.
I mean, that could be fun for one of y'all.
Not for you because you roll such high damage anyway.
Well, it's a spell.
Well, I don't have spells, so.
Oh, fair enough.
Potion of giant strength.
Potion of clairvoyance.
Yeah, Flint had one of those.
Potion of healing, water breath, speed.
Water breath.
When you drink this potion,
you gain the effect of the haste spell for one minute,
no consecration required.
So a potion of speed.
Basically, you get like an extra action on your turn
every turn.
Haste is dope.
Yeah, and you get extra movement and a couple other things.
Dex, I think, has advantage.
All dex checks and that sort of thing.
Right.
Because yeah, I also, this character only has one action.
Yep.
Same thing.
Spell time, baby.
Well, not you anymore.
Not anymore.
I've got two actions.
Only one of them can be a spell, though, I think we said.
Well.
Yep.
Diminution.
Say that word for me.
Makes you smaller.
Okay.
Yeah, you said it right.
Diminutive.
It's a diminutive spell.
So we go Ant-Man.
We go tiny.
Could we go tiny and sneak in?
It would drop you a level, like a size.
Oh.
So you would go from medium to small.
So we just drink like six of them.
We go to the quantum realm.
Right?
We can move between the molecules.
What was the fan theory that Ant-Man was going to go in Thanos' butt and then expect it?
That's right.
That's right, yeah.
That would have been so good.
Could you imagine if that's how they ended that film franchise?
That huge fucking battle scene and then just explodes out his ass.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Potion of climbing.
Gaseous form.
That's what happens after he climbs into Thanos' butt.
Hey-o.
Healing back to giant.
Now we're repeating some stuff.
Okay.
Well, I think we got a few good ones in there.
How many are you willing to give us?
That's the real question.
Say they had time to mix seven potions.
That's a lot more than I thought you'd give us.
Well, I'm thinking you're going to heavy up on some healing shit.
So really, it's less.
That's my guess.
I'll let you all decide.
So we wrote down healing, vitality, giant size for if you want a big dick.
Who doesn't?
Invulnerability, invisibility, maximum power, speed, and then I also wrote down
diminution.
The smaller.
Make you smaller.
If you want to go in his butt.
No, but you need to have so many of them.
You got to have six of those.
They have to be all that one.
That's right.
I do have.
We haven't had any kind of chance to do any of this yet, but I do have a
lot of healing spells because I am a cleric.
I do have healing spells as well.
So I'll try not to let you all die this time.
I also will try not to let you all die.
But yeah, I took quite a few healing spells.
So cool.
FYI.
So maybe we could have potions that would be more for like advantage of
actually.
Because I mean, if we can't get in and get past the guards and shit.
I'll run down the list again.
Healing, invulnerability, invisibility, maximum power, speed, and smallsies.
Invulnerability was the one on spell damage.
It's resistance to all damages for one.
I want to say one hour, but I'm going to check that.
Who here has the lowest hit points?
One minute.
Yeah, sorry.
Who here has the lowest hit points?
Invisibility was one hour.
I don't know.
I have 115.
I have 125.
That is definitely Carla.
I'm pretty sure I have more than everybody combined.
Probably.
Sounds right.
It's close.
Well, I think one of us should have invisibility because wouldn't that be
great to have the upper hand of someone.
However, last time we had someone go invisible, the bitch bad guy could see
them anyway.
Yeah, true sight's a thing.
And if he's really powerful, it's likely.
And if he's another bitch bad guy.
That's all I make is bitch bad guys.
I know.
Is there even anything else you can make?
No.
Just the bitches.
All right.
Well, I'll take one healing and one speed.
Okay.
One in healing, one in speed.
That leaves us with.
Now, what is the healing of these potions?
We're going to say they're big heels.
Like all the way back up?
Probably not all the way.
Do the heels light up and have wheels on them?
Yeah.
You got it.
Perfect.
What is the healing of healing?
We're going to say, because this is a big bad moment, superior healing.
So 84 plus eight.
All right.
I mean, 84 isn't really that much when you think about it.
Actually, it isn't.
Now that I'm thinking about it, I was like, oh, I thought it was like 88.
1636 plus eight.
So max 42 if you were to max out all your dice.
If it's that or death.
Sure.
Yeah.
I think the invulnerability or invincibility or whatever you said would be good, even
if only for a minute.
At least it's, I mean, it's a long time in combat.
It's a minute to get in.
Yeah.
It's 10 rounds.
Can I have that too?
Okay.
So two in invulnerability, one in superior healing, one in speed.
So we got three left.
Can I have extra strongsies?
You want a maximum power or?
I want the one that makes my spells fucking fuck.
I think that was maximum power.
I think that's the max power.
I thought I just read potion of virility and I was like, oh shit.
I don't remember hearing about that potion.
I'll give you one of those, but for later.
Yeah.
Max power.
First time you cast damage dealing spell of fourth level or lower within one minute
after drinking the potion.
So it's for one spell.
The first time you cast.
Amy, if the virility potion lasts for more than four hours, you need to contact
a doctor.
Call your healer.
So it's a, it's a one minute, one time cast, but you get max damage off.
Yeah.
So if you've got your level four spell that you're throwing at him and it's like might
as well hit him.
You drink that and then you, you cast that potion.
Oh, so the things that, oh, I could use moonbeam, right?
He's not, they didn't say radian.
They didn't say radian damage motherfucker.
And that's 4d10 at fourth level.
At fourth level.
So that'd be 40 damage.
And I mean, who knows?
Sometimes undead things have extra trouble with radiant spells.
Maybe they do.
Okay, cool.
I will take that.
Yep.
Who knows?
Russ is like kill Amy first before she has a chance to use that.
I already told you spell casters are priority numero uno.
Well, you're not going to know a spell caster.
I mean, he's not going to know.
Do either of you guys have a spare weapon that is a good weapon that you don't use?
Because I don't really have any great ones.
I sure do.
So if I'm trying to fight.
Are you better with melee or ranged?
Also, do you, do you want to say moist?
That's not going to help though.
It's cold damage.
Well, it just said he's resistant to it.
It's not that he's, well, at least.
He would just take the half damage.
He just takes the half.
But it's still bonus damage over its unmoist form.
Speak moistly.
Let's keep saying moist.
Moist, moist, moist.
Moist.
Oh, I have five healing kits as well.
Look at me go.
Okay.
I have a longbow.
I have a superior healing potion.
I mean, yeah, any potions that you already have, you can, you would still take in.
But yeah, ranged or melee?
Did you answer?
Yes.
Good question.
I have probably melee.
Like I have a crossbow and I have walloping ammunition.
That's pretty good.
I see in my inventory.
I happen to have a flame tongue longsword.
Oh no, that's part of the rod.
Nevermind.
Yeah.
All right.
I have a two handed greataxe.
I have a plus three spear.
Oh no, that's part of the rod.
Yeah.
Like there's so many things in the rod.
I do have a two handed greataxe and I've also got a dwarven thrower that I could pass
your way if need be.
You need to be attuned to it so we would just have to count that as like downtime
stuff before you go in.
Or can you?
Because I thought that was dwarf only.
Yeah, that might be dwarf only.
But I mean having a weapon versus not having a weapon.
All I have are bows.
I have longbow.
Yeah.
I mean I have a, yeah.
I have a fucking lich.
Because I have a mace of terror which is like a weapon but also has three charges
and can make people be frightened so may work in the lead up to.
But certainly not in the fight against the big bad.
But that isn't necessarily the problem.
Like we're going to run into a lot of guards and other randos I assume.
We're not just going to appear like.
And he's just going to be there.
And he's right there.
So I do have that and now that I have looked at it doesn't do a lot of damage
but it can make people run away from me.
So that's not the worst.
Okay.
Well yeah this the two handed axe I have does do 2d12 for damage.
I just think that might be too.
Too cumbersome for you?
Too big for me is my guess.
What do you have under weapon proficiencies?
Martial weapons and simple weapons.
I mean it is a martial weapon.
Guys.
You'd be able to use it.
I still have three teleportation diamonds.
So you can move 30 feet in the blink of an eye.
And my tome of displacement or thunder step.
Funda Funda.
Funda Funda Malu Amat Makhuro.
I will never have that memorized.
I will always read that off.
Funda Funda.
They're real elvish words okay.
I know.
Elvish.
Elvin.
Okay.
Are we just going in?
I'm like legit nervous.
I haven't been up against like a big bad in a while so I'm like a little bit.
I don't know.
I don't know man.
Well you still got two potions to pick too.
Oh.
So you want to just sink them into healing?
Should we just put them into healing or?
Probably.
Yeah that's probably.
So everybody has a superior healing.
Yen Bull and Thea have an invulnerability.
Okay.
I'm going to add these to my other possessions.
Thea has a maximum power.
So Thea got three out of this.
Oh.
Checks out.
It's fine.
There's seven in this.
Seven sheenies in.
And Flint has a speed.
So yeah mark the ones you've got if you can.
I can always go in after everything.
What's my third?
Maximum power, invulnerability and superior healing.
Hey welcome to the middle.
We're here.
Actually it's just me.
Recording schedules and events have the episode coming out a little later than usual.
And just me doing the middle which is totally fine because I love to talk to you one
on one.
Just you and me.
We don't have anything to pitch you here today.
But want to just address the fact that you have probably seen on either social media
on Patreon that Dumb Dragons Productions has donated our Patreon earnings through
this month of June to Black Lives Matter Foundation Inc.
Which is a global organization in the US, UK and Canada whose mission is to eradicate
white supremacy and build local power to intervene in violence inflicted on black
communities by the state and vigilantes by combating and countering acts of violence
creating space for black imagination and innovation and centering black joy.
They're winning immediate improvements in their lives.
We've been a podcast that hasn't taken a stance on a lot of things and we want
to change that.
We want to stand up for what we believe in and what we see is right and try to
do the best that we can with what we can.
And we felt that this was that.
We've put a post up on our Patreon page as well as all of our social media but
we'll link the Patreon one that has a whole bunch of different organizations and
bail funds working to fight racism every single day.
We invite you to go check them out and if you can donate to one of those
organizations.
They're fighting racism in the streets every day and they need support.
We hope you are all safe and healthy.
Remember that Covid is still very much a thing.
Social distancing is very important.
Wash your hands.
Be safe when you go out and make sure you reach out to loved ones to talk
about things that are going on in your life and in the world.
It's very important.
Hopefully you have a great week.
Be safe.
We'll get you back to the episode now.
We are back in game after we get back here.
A little bit of free planning before the break.
But was it the right planning?
Who knows.
We'll find out as we get back to it.
Have a great week.
We'll talk to you soon.
So I have created for you three superior healing potions.
Two potions of invulnerability.
One is already handing one to you.
One of maximum power and one of speed.
These will be tools that hopefully will help us.
When we can find the right time to use them.
Thank you.
Thank you, Manix.
This will be a great help.
You see Manix slip 18 other potions into his own bag.
I'm glad I was a little worried.
He was just giving them all to us.
It didn't really make sense.
Well, I thought he was going to be like, and good luck up there, kids.
You'll need it.
See you later.
What?
When we are ready, I will open the portal.
I think there is no time like the present.
And the present is a gift.
Let's go.
Manix leads you off a path into the woods to a clearing that's overgrown.
The more you look at it and inspect it, there are stones surrounding the perimeter of this clearing.
There are runes that have been like mossed over.
And as Manix goes around and cleans them up as best he can in the time that you have.
He goes to the center and beckons the three of you to join him.
Begins a quiet, what sounds like a prayer, but you know more to be the spell to get you inside of Shangalar's pyramid.
He looks up and says, last chance.
I look at Flint and I say, don't let me go off the rails, OK, buddy?
I got you.
He looks back down and the dust beneath your feet begins to swirl.
And the same energy that you saw him cast in the tunnels beneath Kalimport begins to surround you and swirl around you.
You begin to see flashes like lightning cresting around the perimeter of this clearing.
You hear screams off to one side, moaning and groaning off to another.
You see flashes of images of the undead rushing Kalimport.
You see families running and hiding.
You see a quick flash of a sunken in, stretched skin covered skull that looks straight at you for a blink of an eye.
And in a snap, you are in a room.
It takes a moment as you catch your breath.
You look around at your surroundings and it appears to be a library.
Guys, we didn't, I just realized we didn't make a plan.
We didn't actually fucking make a plan.
We just got some potions and then said, let's do this.
I mean, do we ever really make a plan?
No, I guess not.
But I mean, I just wanted to say that we said we were going to, like a lot of good ideas I felt were thrown out there.
But like, we definitely for sure did not make a plan.
I think we, we fight who we see and we try to find our way to that corpse.
Okay.
That is our only plan.
We have a plan now. That is a plan.
Okay. I feel better.
Do we hear anything or is it a nice, quiet Kalim library?
Is there like an undead librarian just like shuffling around?
You get a good look at your surroundings.
Books are lining the walls from floor to ceiling and the ceiling seems like it goes on forever.
There is a hearth and a chair with its back face to you.
And as you begin to move around in the space, you don't see any doors.
And then a figure stands up from the chair.
It's a younger man.
He looks to be in his late 20s, early 30s, slicked back, light brown hair, very fair skin, dressed in a crisp black overcoat and pressed shirt and pants.
And he turns and looks at you and says, welcome to my master's home.
So nice of you to drop in.
Please come have a seat.
And as he says that three more chairs pop up out of the floor.
The intro song Nowhere Land is by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
All other music and sound effects can be found at epidemicsound.com.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers, Christian Brown, Devin Michaels, Gabriel Lynch, Jacob Madden, Joshua Dixon, Kat Waterflame and Stevie.
To find out more how you can support Dumbgeons and Dragons, visit Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
Thank you for listening. Have a great week.
We'll talk soon.
Yeah, absolutely.
Giggles every time he says phylactery.
She's like, OK, just throw that in there.
I hope you know that Amy and I showed great restraint because the first time you said it, we were both like, well, I made a face like I know.
I looked at you said it again.
And I was like, OK, that's the word he's saying.
It clearly is a word.
I just don't know.
Really, we were both like, I 100 percent giggled because I looked at your face at the same time that he said it.
We were like.
And it's kind of and it's just a gross word.
It is. And that's why they giggle at it, because it's kind of like, I don't know.
It's just it makes me uncomfortable like flaccid, flactery.
I don't know.
It's where he makes flaccid penises.
Someone's got to make them.
That's true.
There's a demand worldwide.
He's done his monologue, but I'm going to cut to another scene.
We can come back to this.
This is boring.
Wait, I had a question.
I just learned that half my spells suck.
Write your question down.
I'll remember it.
He will get to all questions at the end.
We'll get to all questions at the end when there will be a Q&A period.
OK, I look forward to that.
Carla's an elder.
Pick a name for yourself.
Elder or something.
Itch Blast.
I'm Elder Itch Blast.
I can also pick names if you need.
I mean, that's much better than the name I wrote down.
Do you want me to say that?
Sure.
They're going to take on the Lichshanger.
Oh, fuck.
This is why I didn't say the name.
They're going to take on the Lichshanger.
Nope.
No?
Just say they're going to take on the Lichshanger.
I'll say Shangri-La.
They're going to take on the Lichshanger.
You already said it.
It's fine.
How do you say it?
Shangri-La.
What did I say?
Shangri-La.
No, I did not.
You did.
Damn it.
Yep.
You get a good look at your surroundings.
Bluey decimal.
Is there just a section that says phylacteries and where to find them?
Yeah.
These are going to be great bloopers, everybody.
Is there an emergency exit map on the wall that outlines all the different floors?
Sure.
No.
Okay.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, absolutely.
This is all just bloopers then?
That's what I said.
They'll be the great bloopers.
Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.